none gender left art

ryan, 24, uk. ve/ver/vis preferably or any neutral pronouns. i do art. i love oddworld and neoscum and i have too many original projects to list

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I looked back at older Eggshells panels while I was painting the new ones for chapter 7 and I'm just like. wtf who are these people

I think a lot about what happens when Aubrey is inevitably forced into a corner and has to confess her actual life story to Kaveh and Iloya

How clean it is depends on her circumstances and state of mind (there are a number of factors that could affect this…) but when it does happen she believes she’s at a point of no return where even acknowledging the surface-level details of what she’s been hiding is going to irreparably damage her life so she really just. goes for it. spills everything. What she was part of was so fucked up that the delivery doesn’t make a ton of difference

As for reactions… Iloya is very quick to come to the conclusion that the things she did during her time with LoA don’t bother them for all the obvious reasons but Kaveh takes longer. Kaveh is more of a law and order guy and Aubrey was like this scrappy kid he let live in his home for a month and a half within a month of being introduced to her and he has this very close dad/brother kind of relationship with her and it’s like. He can very very easily imagine the scope of destruction and death that these conflicts cause and it really fucks him up to know that Aubrey has killed hundreds of people

It puts so much else into context for him, too. When they get into physical combat on the job Aubrey can flip that switch and let her training take over and she is very fucking good at what she does, and there are a few times when she’s been forced to kill people, and she can be weird after that bc it does require her to flip some switches in her brain and she has to reconcile that with herself after the fact and now he knows why. and it’s so much worse than just gang violence.

He still loves her though. Because he does know who she is now and he’s seen all the trauma she’s been left with, and he knows she had absolutely no choice in the matter outside of just… dying. He can’t turn his back on the relationship he’s built with her over the last four years when she’s so obviously trying to build something good out of a life that other people kept running through the shredder for 17 years

So it takes him a while to process it and he’s kind of distant for a while but he comes around. I think it changes their relationship but in a good way. Aubrey doesn’t have to lie anymore and that includes no longer hiding knowledge and skills that she’s kept hush about because it would seem super sus for someone with her background to know about and I think that like. Rebuilding their relationship with Kaveh fully understanding who she is and what she knows and where she’s been puts them more on equal footing rather than the kind of mentor/kid thing they had going before.

Iloya is super grounded in the present throughout this whole thing. They get mad at Kaveh a number of times for his myopia wrt seeing Aubrey for who she is now rather than who she was then and I think he needs that kind of push. Iloya fully understands the gravity of Aubrey’s situation but they also fully understand that Aubrey could not possibly be more repentant for the whole thing and that despite the lies she is still very much the person she has been trying to be for the four years they’ve known her and she obviously wants to leave her past behind

Apparently I already posted that Aubrey on its own but I'm not taking it down. We die like men


I feel like I've been on the brink of being ill for like 2-3 weeks and now that I'm off work my body is just like, oh, thank god, we can do this now

OH okay, thank u for letting me know

Nooope. I feel like I must be missing something obvious here

An Anonymous user asked:

Here's the post about the Commission Market.

No, I know that, I literally like. cannot find a button or whatever to link my Stripe account or post my listing on there

Hey how do I... post on the commission market

I still haven't gone through the music recs I asked for in a post like three weeks ago either but in my defence my bandcamp wishlist is already a mile long and I'm supposed to be saving money to go to Chicago again/Gencon this summer

The snake in the cards I drew for Aubrey isn't just an accessory she actually does own a ball python named Bubbles. Bubsy for short

My anxiety is almost a total non-issue now tho lol turns out prozac is magic for me and the last thing I remember having legitimate anxiety about was when me and my friend went up to the Skydeck in Chicago and I didn't want to walk past the souvenir picture guy or have my shit put through the goddamn X-ray because I didn't want the hassle and I don't like feeling obligated to do souvenir photo things

Musing on childhood anxiety stuff

I was going thru all of my old school reports last night and it's incredible that nobody identified that anxiety was a serious issue in my childhood bc all my primary school ones comment on me needing to be confident enough to contribute more often and I found one that said I started panicking in a test once (??? I don't remember this) because I couldn't think of what to write or something

And then like. My HORRENDOUS stage anxiety. I always envied the people who got prominent roles in school plays but I would freak the fuck out when actually put on a stage and this carried right through into high school. I had separation anxiety from home to the point that on numerous occasions I bailed on sleepovers and asked for my mom to come and get me. I used to have anxiety about being out in public on my own so I couldn't even go shopping alone. I had anxiety about eating in public because I ALSO had a fear of being sick in public that fed into itself because my primary anxiety symptom was......... feeling sick

idk I feel like someone should have picked up on this because I didn't seriously start identifying this as Real anxiety until I was... 15? 16? All of this and I thought I didn't have it that bad but looking back on it I had it REALLY FUCKING BAD. If someone had identified it as a legitimate psychological problem and not just bad habits or something then maybe I would have had one less shitty thing to deal with growing up. In a way I feel like the adults around me failed me

Me, staring into the middle distance and thinking about how much I love Nein

Ok for some reason the second two images didn't upload in my character post so I had to repost it but THEY'RE THERE NOW

OOP thanks for the replies y'all, I missed any discussion of it and I'm not in the discord

Is anyone else having issues uploading art posts? I've been trying to upload sth and I've tried uploading a separate copy, uploading it as a jpeg, uploading an entirely different file (a piece from last year), and just waiting a while to see if it fixes itself but no dice

>VGA to HDMI adapter arrives

>go to plug in

>port is actually DP not HDMI


>figure out that it was probably actually a driver that windows update pushed out that broke everything

>spend the next hour trying to fix that


I spent two hours today travelling somewhere that's only actually a half hour away because of how infrequent the buses are out here, got smothered in ultrasound jelly to eventually be told they can't see any reason why I keep getting abdominal pains, stood in the wind for an hour waiting for my dad to come and pick me up, then got home to find that on updating my PC it APPEARED to have bricked my machine because I couldn't even get to the login screen

And then after 90 minutes or so being really angry at that it looks like actually it's just my VGA/HDMI adapter that's bust (fine) or my GPU (less fine but I can take that hit)

Coffee machine started screaming at me while I was steaming milk and almost got scalded


Pillowfort felt like it was a place that everyone was moving their Proper Art Blogs to but Waterfall feels like, oh, I can post art here but also just be feral if I want to

I didn't set up my commission listing bc I got as far as accepting the T&Cs and then I was like "uhhh I'll make my stripe account in a minute" but I didn't and stayed up until 4AM painting instead. today maybe


Prooooobably gonna test out the commission market later